Sex Education

I would like to take this opportunity to further elaborate and respond to Mr. Medeiros’ comment that was posted on my blog on November 15^th, 2011.  Mr. Medeiros wrote a critique regarding my post titled “To Educate, Not Terminate.”

Luckily, we both agree that something has to be done about sex education.  My personal view is that we must educate our children and teenagers.  Mr. Medeiros beliefs are that “we cannot really teach someone about safe sex”; and that teaching safe sex is the “equivalent to teaching Russian Roulette.”  Considering Mr. Medeiros first belief, I would have to say that the reason why we can, and we must, teach the youth about safe sex is because most teenagers are engaging in sexual activities.  I had a chance to look at the article Mr. Medeiros cited in his post, it is titled “Parents Can Help Teens Reduce Sexual Risk-Taking.”  In this article, I found out that “Half of all high school students have engaged in sexual intercourse (including 39 percent of 9th graders).”  Taking Medeiros’ second thought in consideration, I cannot agree that, by teaching someone how to have safe sex, this person can be at a higher risk of a negative outcome when compared with someone else that is uninformed.  I believe that the person who holds the information would think through their risks and make a positive decision.  Certainly, something could, by chance, go wrong; however, when compared to taking a “chance” and not protecting yourself at all, it seems that “chance” is the best deal.

One of Medeiros’ points that I absolutely agree with is that parents and their children should have a warm, loving, and close relationship.  Perhaps, I did not make myself very clear in my previous posts, but, when I say that sex education is essential, it does include the parents’ input and it is not about teaching children sexual techniques or just talking about pregnancy and diseases.  Sex education, the way I envision, means that we are preparing individuals to be responsible when it comes to sex.  To be physically, emotionally, and psychologically healthy when they feel they are prepared for it.  Education means that these individuals will understand their bodies, respect themselves and others, and engage in sex when it is the right moment in their lives to do so.  Part of parenting is explaining to their children the consequences of starting a premature sexual life.  Such a discussion does not mean that the parents are giving permission or that they approve of their children engaging in sexual activity.   The article mentioned above, also states that “teens reporting a good mother-teen relationship were less likely to engage in intercourse during the study period and those who engaged in intercourse were more likely to utilize birth control”, which I found fantastic.  In a perfect world, all teenagers would have a great relationship with their parents; unfortunately, this is far from reality.  Another point related to this quote is that the teenagers who did have sex, regardless of the relationship with their mothers, used birth control, which means that these kids, likely, had sex education of some sort. 

One last point from the article is that the authors advised “frequent and open parental communication with teens on sex-related issues to moderate the impact of other teens on sexual risk behavior and condom usage”, which screams: educate your kids!

In conclusion, sex education will only help the youth to grow up informed, safer, and more responsible.  The parents definitely play a huge role in this education, and the better they do; the better for the kids.  The motive I have to insist that schools should also take a part in sex education is that many parents fail miserably when it comes to educating their children about sex.  Many times, this type of conversation is considered to be awkward, and/or embarrassing.  Then, if schools bring professionals who are knowledgeable and know how to approach the young and talk about something that is still taboo, it might also help parents to be more comfortable, and more confident to talk to their children.  In return, the children will also sense more freedom to ask questions and let their parents know what is really happening in their lives.

Abstinence Only?

I was very pleased to read a post from my colleague, Allison Murken, which addresses the issue of the lack of sexual education in Texas’ schools.  The post is titled “What Needs to Happen?”, and I found her personal statement very frank and relevant to the matter.  Interestingly enough, I have published a commentary about how sexual education is essential in our schools in order to avoid unplanned pregnancies.  Essentially, we both relate to the fact that the “abstinence only” program has failed, and the statistics are the evidence.

Two main points in Murken’s post made a deep impression of what people want to believe happens, and what actually happens.  The first point was that her school did not have a program to efficiently and sensibly teach children and teenagers about sexuality.  What happened was that a significant portion of the girls ended up getting pregnant and the solution for the problem was to expel them from the school.  This is a typical example of a hypocritical society that does not educate and guide, but expect people to behave within some boundaries.  Some people argue that sex education in schools is synonymous to giving the young permission to experiment with sex.  I see this point of view as very limited and naïve.  Education promotes knowledge and understanding. Education promotes reasoning and responsibility.  Once teenagers get informed, they have a chance to understand why it is better to wait until maturity to have sexual relations, and they can discern right from wrong.  When this information is not given to them, as mentioned in Murken’s commentary, what happens is that “the more we don’t talk to them about it, the more interested they are.”  This statement brings up the second point that is extremely important.  The forbidden is always more attractive than a teenager can handle.  They will, sooner or later, experiment with sex just because they cannot control their curiosity anymore.  Plus, the media is a terrible influence in terms of promoting sexuality.  If parents and schools do not teach the students about what sex really is, and what the consequences of it are; the TV shows will.  The problem is that the lessons from TV will most likely give them a twisted idea about sex, and it will not warn these inexperienced teenagers about the possible outcomes.

Murken also wrote that some schools are implementing the abstinence-plus program that will teach students about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases.  I believe this is a great step forward, but it is still lacking an objective, scientific, psychological, and emotional approach to sexuality.  The students should understand about their bodies, puberty, sensations, and desires too.  At this age, many teens are falling in love for the first time and are very vulnerable to a sexual encounter with their loved one; therefore, they should also know all about pregnancy and diseases.

In sum, sexual education is necessary to teach the young how to handle their thoughts, curiosities, and feelings.  Education is the only way a society has to deal with important life concerns.  When we preach abstinence only and nothing else, we are leaving the door open for teenagers to look out and seek their own learning.